Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
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Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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