what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
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If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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