I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize