We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
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EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize