I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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