she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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