I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize