i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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