How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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