Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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