Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
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whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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