You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize