I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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