Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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