That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize