I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize