brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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