i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm like, not good at living.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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