if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize