Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"

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(909): You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish" http://tfl.nu/4kon

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(641): View more from Iowa

FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER

(1-641): View more from Iowa

STOP listening to that song

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(641): FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER (1-641): STOP listening to that song http://tfl.nu/q2fx

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(417): View more from Missouri

I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.

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(417): I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat. http://tfl.nu/8r9j

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(402): View more from Nebraska

NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

It is literally 8 in the morning.

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(402): NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!! (1-402): It is literally 8 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/koue

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(708): View more from Illinois

this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick

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(708): this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick http://tfl.nu/q9ek

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(630): View more from Illinois

Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.

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(630): Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus. http://tfl.nu/ls1i

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you

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(484): come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you http://tfl.nu/95xm

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(503): View more from Oregon

I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?

(1-503): View more from Oregon

yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.

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(503): I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan? (1-503): yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case. http://tfl.nu/ztrg

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(614): View more from Ohio

the wall and i were having dominance issues.

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(614): the wall and i were having dominance issues. http://tfl.nu/itlm

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.

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(920): She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future. http://tfl.nu/bxh5

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.

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(603): I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression. http://tfl.nu/ii3j

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(231): View more from Michigan

the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants

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(231): the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants http://tfl.nu/ctb5

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(231): View more from Michigan

My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....

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(231): My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness.... http://tfl.nu/k1tt

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(732): View more from New Jersey

if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february

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(732): if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february http://tfl.nu/tz00

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."

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(603): I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses." http://tfl.nu/iu6o

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