If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
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Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
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I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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