It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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