In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize