i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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