I wish my penis had an off switch
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
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