I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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