I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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