I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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