the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
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That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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