Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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