what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
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I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
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Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize