You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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