Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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