My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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