I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize