can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize