If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
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My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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