May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize