i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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