Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize