Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize