Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm

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  (650): Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm http://tfl.nu/tho2
  Replies (19) Good night (1382) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.

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  (416): Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only. http://tfl.nu/udpk
  Replies (33) Good night (4530) Bad night (893)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.

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  (630): They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today. http://tfl.nu/t7wc
  Replies (18) Good night (4514) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?

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  (914): explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts? http://tfl.nu/duu8
  Replies (15) Good night (3866) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.

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  (805): Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer. http://tfl.nu/bp97
  Replies (7) Good night (3303) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple

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  (401): After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple http://tfl.nu/1d3q
  Replies (11) Good night (4103) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.

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  (303): But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you. http://tfl.nu/unr3
  Replies (10) Good night (4715) Bad night (827)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost

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  (647): You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost http://tfl.nu/e5ly
  Replies (4) Good night (2947) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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  (+44): I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs. http://tfl.nu/qoq8
  Replies (7) Good night (2391) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze

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  (630): Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze http://tfl.nu/yikf
  Replies (3) Good night (1211) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy

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  (615): The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy http://tfl.nu/u49d
  Replies (3) Good night (1379) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..

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  (412): I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk.. http://tfl.nu/mdzo
  Replies (5) Good night (681) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger

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  (314): I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger http://tfl.nu/k75x
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love

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  (847): I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love http://tfl.nu/ldev
  Replies (3) Good night (277) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.

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  (708): I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun. http://tfl.nu/pax3
  Replies (1) Good night (159) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt

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