Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize