I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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