Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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