i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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