Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
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I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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