Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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