Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize