you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The police scanner is talking about you again....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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